A couple of Boris bits from the latest Eye. First, from Rotten Boroughs:

Boris & Ken

“The trouble we have — and it is one of the few things in politics which makes me almost wild with anger — is the sale of the playing fields, above all the sale of the playing fields in state schools,” wrote Boris Johnson in the Telegraph back in 2004. How times change.

Last month the new London mayor signed off on his first planning application to build housing on a state school playing field. Campaigners against the development, which is to fund the rebuilding of Holland Park Community School, had hoped Boris the Menace’s much vaunted opposition to flogging off the nation’s playing fields would stop the plan in its tracks, since he has the final say on such applications.

At £76m the new school building is set to be the most expensive in the UK. In order to offset the cost, Kensington and Chelsea council is to sell off a chunk of the school’s playing fields — enough for “72 units” of residential development with “associated parking spaces”.

The council is pushing ahead with its plans, despite recently being told by its own panel of architects that the school designs were “monolithic and relentless” and would date very quickly. It did, however, scrap the idea of making the housing affordable and available to teachers.

City Hall’s announcement of approval of the plan trumpeted that the development would result in “improved informal outdoor space and an Olympic-size indoor swimming pool”. In fact the new pool is planned to be exactly the same size as the school’s current pool, 25 metres. If Boris thinks that’s Olympic-size, hadn’t someone better check the plans for London 2012?

Then, on a later, rather more tongue-in-cheek page, they present:

That Boris Johnson/Sir Ian Blair Email In Full

Blimey! This Blair chap sounds a bit of a rum cove. I mean he thinks he’s frightfully clever just ’cos he went to Oxford, keeps making the most fearful gaffes yet still stays in his job, and to top it all he gives work to his old mates! Cripes! What a good egg! My kind of chap! Lay off him you stinkers! You hear me!

Signed
Bo-Jo
Mayor of London

I wonder if there’ll ever be an edition of Private Eye while Boris is Mayor that doesn’t mention him? I don’t think there has been yet. No wonder editor Ian Hislop was encouraging Have I Got News For You? viewers to vote for him (before retreating to the safety of his non-London home).

One Response to Private Eye nuggets

  1. Tom says:

    The other pertinent story in the Eye was bus companies raising prices because of fuel costs, despite having hedged their fuel purchases many months ahead precisely to head off the threat of rising fuel costs to their profits. Raw capitalism always tries to ensure that it keeps the rewards and offloads the risks, of course.

    In London, on the other hand, the presence of TfL in the loop prevents them doing this – if ticket prices rise in London it’s because TfL want it to happen, not greedy bus companies.

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